Memorials: The departed will forever live in our memories and in our hearts.
Dorothy Elizabeth Wahlstrom Hickingbotham Wahl
Dorothy as a baby
October 27, 1922 - December 27, 2004
Dorothy loved the ocean, particularly The Great South Bay of Long Island. She spent much of her youth walking its beaches. The daughter of Carl Knut Wahlstrom of Stockholm, Sweden and Florence Cooke of Rock Ferry, England, she was a child and grandchild of seafaring people. Her father Carl was a Merchant Mariner and later a United States Coast Guardsman. Her mother Florence arrived at Ellis Island with her mother and other family. Dorothy's grandfather had been a sea captain. Dorothy's brother was in the Navy during World War II and later served as a chief rigger on the nuclear submarines at Groton, CT.
Until Dorothy was an adult she spent every year of her life within a few miles of the coast. It is fitting that at long last she goes home to the Great South Bay.
Dorothy (right) and her brother Donald (left)
Born in New York City to recent immigrants, she attended New York City's public schools and Jackson High School where excelled in math and music. She was a gifted mezzo soprano. She grew up in Yorkville and often joked that she could cook in ten languages specializing in Swedish, English, Italian and German foods. She also could make a tasty borsht.
She shared many memories with her family of life in New York City attending street fairs, listening to concerts, visiting art museums, and playing in Central Park. During the depression she worked to help support her family in a textile store and as a telephone operator.
The Wahlstroms moved to Long Island at the end of the depression residing in Roosevelt and Hempstead. Once the war began, Dorothy worked making bomb sights at the Sperry Gyroscope on Long Island. It was while she was at Sperry that she met her future husband Lt. Ray Curtis Hickingbotham, Jr. A friend wanted to attend her fiancé’s graduation ceremony from Officer Candidate School at Fort Monmouth, NJ. The only way her parents would allow her to attend was if she had a chaperone. Dorothy volunteered. At the graduation she met handsome, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Ray, a native of McGehee, Arkansas.
A year-long, very long distance courtship followed and the two young people from distinctly different worlds were married in St. Louis, MO. on August 12, 1943.
Dorothy and Ray
The war was to often separate them and shortly after their daughter Carol's birth in 1945, Ray was sent with a VHF radio team to China. The team was stationed at what was then called Chungking.
After the war Ray studied law and worked at a New York City law firm. In 1946 Ray was recalled to active duty for the Army Security Agency where he worked as a Radio Intelligence Officer at Vint Hill Farms Station and Arlington Hall Station in northern Virginia.
In October 1947 Ray disappeared without a trace. Despite a great deal of effort by Dorothy and Carol, Ray's whereabouts are still unknown to any member of his family. The search for Ray Hickingbotham was featured on Unsolved Mysteries in 1990 and then in reruns of the popular television show.
Dorothy, Ray and their daughter Carol
During her retirement years Dorothy resided in Lawton, OK near the home of her daughter and son-in-law. She passed away at Comanche County Memorial Hospital from complications from pneumonia. Memorial services were held at Becker Funeral Home, Lawton, OK.
Dorothy worked in retail, design and import-export. She was a writer, active volunteer for the American Red Cross and Campfire. She was also a member of the Sons of Norway, the Vasa Lodge, and the Ellis Island Foundation. She was a lifetime Lutheran.
Dorothy is remembered by friends and family as a person who had overcome many obstacles including great sadness and loss. She had a wry sense of humor, loved nature, her pets, reading, music and her country. She was proud of her immigrant roots, but was a proud American. She was a devoted daughter and cared for her parents in their later years. She was a loving mother and grandmother who could even make the smallest event special.
She is survived by her daughter Carol and son-in-law Dr. Kenneth Solstad of St. Louis, MO, grandsons Ian Hickingbotham Solstad of Tulsa, OK, and Rev. Steven Solstad and his wife Courtney Thompson Solstad of Ballwin, MO, a granddaughter Anne Elisabeth Solstad of New York, New York, two great granddaughters Chloe Paige and Emma Grace Solstad of Ballwin, MO.
Dorothy's passing reunites her with her parents, her brother Donald and other loved ones including pets Blackie, Sheep, Nicky, Sandy, Flicka, Pawnee, McDuff, Rusty and Easter.
You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
~ David Harkins
Nature's Passage Burial at Sea Service
Performing burials and 'military' memorial services at sea.
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